Chapter Text
The media storm that followed was a good one, for once. Headlines showing Asmodeus f*cking Fizzarolli at the press conference were sold at every checkout counter and popped up all over social media. Not a single platform missed out on the story of the year, that the King of Lust was dicking down with Mammon’s brand baby.
Every morning, Fizz and Ozzie read the papers and laughed about what reporters were saying about them. Mostly that Ozzie was powerful and had proven it by denouncing love as a whole, and that Fizz was attractive and talented.
The articles about Fizz usually encouraged readers to buy Fizzbots, if the reader wanted a taste for themselves.
One morning, Fizz spit out his coffee upon reading the headline in the Hell Times that he was being nominated as sexiest hellborn alive.
This was especially good news, as there had only been fewer than twenty imp nominees before. In fact, Fizz could count the number of imps who actually won this honor on one hand.
Barbie used her limited phone hours to call Fizz one day to congratulate him, as well as to needle him to no end about the show he and Ozzie had put on, reading it in a magazine her roommate had brought in. Sure, she was still mad at him about plotting and having put her in rehab, but he was still her brother.
It was her job to call and congratulate him, and then to turn around and torture him, at least a little.
Fizz just took it, retorting that Barbie had turned into a Lust native, as she was technically discussing his sex life with him.
This ended that conversation quickly.
Sales of Fizzbots soared through the roof, and Ozzie found himself going back to the project to come up with new features to add on. Mammon added an extra bit of pressure to do this, claiming it was for the upcoming unholiday.
Ozzie didn’t mind so much, always trying to improve on whatever products he sold. He took pride in his work, enjoying new challenges and the whole engineering process. Building this was something he enjoyed, and he would have lived in the workshop if duty didn’t prevent him.
The Fizzbots were a marvel of engineering, the fact that he had made them was a point of pride despite how uncomfortable it could be at times.
It was becoming annoying to see how other demons reacted to Fizz since the robots became popular; some of the reviews the bots were getting were downright creepy, in fact.
Still, Fizz didn’t seem bothered by it, so Ozzie just decided to follow the imp’s example and not worry too much. At least, he tried.
Fizz, for his part, tried his best to pretend the Fizzbots didn’t exist except when he was actively promoting them. The rest of the time, he kept that to the back of his mind, not wanting to even see them if he didn’t have to.
Even better than the Fizzbots, orders for their regular line of sex toys also went up again. Their new line, titled Sinner, was also a hit. The scarecrow demon’s corn cob dild*, the two headed echidna toy, and the batwing straight jacket for full body bondage were selling almost as fast as the Fizzies.
More than the money and success, working on ideas together had become a fun pastime. It was a way to bond, mixing Fizz’s creativity with Ozzie’s engineering skills.
The club was also booming, with Ozzie’s booked up almost every night, fans desperate to get a glimpse of the imp.
The idea of holding a press conference had been such a success, that the two were able to sigh a breath of relief and relax for a little while. Or at least, they didn’t have to actively worry about the optics of living together anymore.
It was inconvenient to keep up a lie to the press, but it wasn’t that big a divergence from what Fizz and Ozzie had been doing before. Keeping their relationship a secret from the public at large, or at least the details private, had always been their goal.
Now that the media had a label for them, even though it wasn’t accurate, the wild speculation calmed down a bit.
But even more than that, the things that were being said only ever described Asmodeus with fear and awe, if not outright horniness.
Ozzie gaining a renewed respect as a feared and mighty ruler of hell meant that, at least for the time being, no one would dare to mess with him.
It was that image that had to be maintained above all else, they agreed.
Twas the night before Sinsmas… actually, the day before, more accurately.
Bee flew about her house in excitement as she set up garlands and hung baubles from every conceivable surface. She had already had the place decorated, had started the first day allowed for the Sinsmas Season.
Despite her tendency to go max out on all imaginable celebrations, Bee was careful about not over playing Sinsmas music and never left the decorations up even a day too late. Sinsmas was her favorite unholiday, but she hated unholiday creep, preferring each special day to stand for itself and to not overshadow the others. There was Hell’s New Years, Pride month, the birthdays of everyone she had ever met, HellHound Day, and so many more. She had even made up downright stupid unholidays just for the excuse to party, not that she really needed one. But when Beelzebub called someone up to ask them if they wanted to celebrate Beelzejuice co*cktail Day or Prank Call A Sinner Day, who could say no?
Despite Fizz and Ozzie being tired from the more recent stressors in their lives, they were looking forward to this. The previous year, they had kept Sinsmas low-key, and so were excited for a Beelzebub party.
Fizz especially, appreciative of Bee after she had gone right into caretaker mode when Asmodeus got summoned to earth.
Since the sins hadn’t celebrated together the previous year, Bee intended to make this one the greatest of all time.
So she busied herself adding final touches on Sinsmas Eve. Snow confetti machines, garlands grown in her own garden, rooms divided off and decorated to look like the inside of cozy log cabins, roaring fires in her hearth, hounds in fuzzy sweaters whose entire job was snuggling… she had it all.
A buffet table with chaffers was set up, ready for all the unholiday comfort foods one could imagine.
Asmodeus was setting up a chocolate fountain, carrying it across the room and placing it centrally for everyone to have access. The actual chocolate hadn’t been added yet, but he was still careful, excited to dip strawberries in it once it was live.
Fizz was bouncing around and hanging stringed popcorn on the walls, his energy high as well as his spirits.
“Parkour!” he shouted, jumping off a bannister and stretching to land safely on the ground, letting the string of popcorn hang on hooks on the bannister as he went.
“Fizz, you don’t need to yell ‘parkour,’” said Ozzie with exasperation and amusem*nt.
“Yes I do. Otherwise demons will think I’m doing acrobatics,” said the jester, crossing his arms. “There is a difference.”
“Of course,” said the sin, rolling his eyes on all three faces at once.
“Things are looking great, here,” said Bee, flying down between them as they were about to find new tasks. “And my partners are coming back soon, so you’ll get to meet them.”
“So you’re also in a relationship with hellborns?” asked Fizz, trying to get his head around it. He had never been to Gluttony much, just doing the occasional show and that one time with Ozzie as an imp. The fact that the Queen of Gluttony frequently dated one of the lowest on the rankings in hell’s hierarchy was astonishing to him.
“Yeah, my girlfriends duch*ess and Roxxie are currently picking up some horses in Wrath. Gonna have carriage rides because they’re all cozy and romantic and sh*t,” said Bee, pleased with the idea. “Gonna have a celebration that’s all about that snuggly, stay inside and drink and be all warm in front of the fire kinda inholidays.”
“I think the term for that is hygge,” said Ozzie, remembering the Swedish term.
“Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. We’re gonna get our hygge on,” said Bee.
“Now that sounds like my kind of unholiday,” said Belphegor, letting herself in, telekinetically carrying a stack of gifts behind her.
She set them down and then picked up her little sister in a hug, looking serene and sleepy as she squeezed the fox sin tightly.
“Whoa Bel, you trying to check my blood pressure or something?” Bee asked, pushing her sister off. “Anyway, I didn’t want to copy Lu’s high class, fancy-schmancy Sinsmas parties, or to just do one of my normal parties with Sinsmas decor. So we’re gonna get our cozy pjs and warm drinks on, my bitches!”
Suddenly, her phone beeped, and she pulled it out and checked her messages. “Speaking of my bitches, my girlfriends are back.”
Bee headed outside, and Fizz just watched her go, confused yet intrigued by this sin.
“Has she always been like this?” he asked, amused that anyone could find so many excuses to throw a celebration.
“Always,” confirmed Ozzie, shaking his head. “We all joke that she was created as a kid on spring break, or as a divorced mom having a midlife crisis at a dance club. Before those concepts existed, we had other analogies, but those are the ones that currently hold water.”
“I almost wish she’d hit a midlife crisis,” sighed Belphegor, looking wearily after her. She loved her sister, but she could only be around Bee in small doses, so she always bathed her in affection whenever up to it. Bel preferred texting instead of seeing her sister in person, and before texting, she wrote letters. It was Beelzebub’s energy, the party lifestyle draining to Bel but energizing to Bee. Despite keeping her distance, though, Bel was fiercely protective of her little sister.
“I think she’s fun,” said Fizz. Bee matched his energy, and although her brashness could be a bit off-putting to him, he still liked being around her. The idea that Bee didn’t see herself as above dating hellborns was also a relief to him. In fact, it made his relationship with Ozzie feel more normal.
He hopped up onto Ozzie’s shoulder and the ram kissed his cheek, making him blush.
“Brother, after that little press conference you had, I think you should be a bit more careful,” said Belphegor, noting the open doors to the mansion. No one except them was around, but the possibility of any number of Bee’s friends coming and going was not a slim one.
They hadn’t been seen, but both the imp and Ozzie nodded, remembering themselves.
Just business partners that f*ck. That’s what they were around anyone who wasn’t family.
They walked outside to admire the horses, Fizz cautiously letting them sniff him and petting their noses gently.
“You’re still visiting Barb today?” asked Asmodeus, standing back from the horses like he was afraid of them. In truth, he was actually afraid of scaring them.
“Yeah. They’re doing a special family visit thing today for Sinsmas,” said Fizz, stretching out and taking Ozzie’s hand in his. “Let them investigate you and sniff you. They’ll be less nervous.”
The sin held out his hand and one of the horses cautiously turned toward him. It stepped forward and sniffed and even nipped the sleeve of Ozzie’s jacket, its ears moving from backward, indicating fear, to forward and curious.
“Now you can pet her,” said the imp, smiling at Ozzie as the sin gently stroked the creature. “I grew up around horses.”
“Makes sense,” said Ozzie, glad that some aspects of the imp’s childhood had been happy ones. “I’d go with you, but I don’t think Barb really wants to see me since the time I visited.”
“They told me about that one. First they’d had a patient be sat on through a whole visit,” said Fizz, moving from one horse to the next.
“Aren’t you at least a bit nervous?” asked Ozzie, concerned not just for Fizz’s safety in this case. He was fairly certain that Barbie wouldn’t attack Fizz, and there were going to be families all around and so that meant high security.
But that didn’t mean Barbie would be nice. If anything, it meant that she would probably be annoyed or even agitated by all the other demons around her.
“Hells yes I’m nervous! Terrified, in fact,” said Fizz, trying to shake off the anxiety of seeing his circus sister for the first time in months. Sure, he had called her during allotted phone hours and written letters, but it wasn’t the same. “But I’m not not gonna visit her for Sinsmas! It’s her favorite time of the year!”
Ozzie just nodded, understanding. Family was important to both of them, and Fizz didn’t have much of it.
“Speaking of visiting, shouldn’t you be getting down there soon?” asked Asmodeus, looking at his watch.
Fizz nodded, running to get his gifts for Barbie and then Ozzie opened a portal for him right in front of the rehab clinic.
The portal closed behind the imp when he noticed a line outside the clinic.
It being sloth, the line was moving slowly. Painfully slowly, in fact. There were about twenty demons waiting, trailed out onto the sidewalk. Some were tapping their feet impatiently, annoyed by the slowness, while others looked half sedated, in no hurry to get inside.
Fizz peaked into the entrance and saw a few hellhounds examining bags and boxes, and so walked to the end of the line to wait. He wasn’t gonna skip in front, not that much of a diva despite his fame.
“They searching presents?” he asked the baphomet in front of him, who only nodded slowly without even turning around.
Fizz frowned but figured there was nothing that could be done about security, and pulled out his phone while he waited.
The line moved at a snail’s pace, and more demons lined up behind the jester. The cue kept getting longer, trailing down the sidewalk, sleepy demons wearing festive clothes and carrying lazily wrapped bags and packages.
After thirty minutes Fizz was about to get past the threshold to the clinic, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He tried not to be startled as he turned around, thinking it was someone asking for him to hold their place or something. But the demon who had accosted him looked excited rather than bored, clearly not waiting in this line.
“Hey, aren’t you Fizzarolli?” he asked. The demon seemed to be an imp/baphomet hybrid, and too energetic to be from Sloth.
“Uh, yeah. Hi. Yes, it’s me,” he said awkwardly. He hated it when fans grabbed him. Being recognized wasn’t so bad, but being grabbed felt violating.
Then it suddenly occurred to the jester that it was probably bad optics to be visiting his sister in rehab without some sort of disguise.
What would Mammon think? What would the papers say?
He started to internally panic, but the fan began to pull out his phone and so he straightened up and let the guy snap a selfie with him.
Fizz forced a smile and gave a thumbs up, and the fan moved on without any fuss after that.
By the time that was done the line had moved enough that Fizz was able to get his bag searched and after a pat down for drugs was let inside.
The clinic was crowded, as was to be expected around Sinsmas. Demons of all sorts were gathered around tables and couches, some in groups so large that a few had to stand or sit on the floor.
Many were sloth demons, talking in slow murmurs and being relatively quiet. There were so many, though, that it still contributed to the loud din that disrupted the normally quiet atmosphere.
There were concubi, hellhounds, baphomets, but also imps galore.
Imp couples watched their kits play fighting on the floor, the inpatient parents with sad smiles that yearned to be home. Home amidst chaos and movement and freedom, this day a serious and poignant reminder of why they were getting treatment.
Concubi couples seemed to struggle to contain themselves and their want for each other, a few giving in to it.
One Concubi couple was making out at their table, while another was dry humping against the wall.
A hellhound mom in inpatient pajamas hugged a whole litter of puppies at once, crying as she held them close.
There were families opening gifts, children offering small handmade items or cheap trinkets they had bought themselves.
The demons they were visiting, a lot of them their parents, held these items as dear treasures despite their lack of value or kitschiness.
Inpatients offered their families handmade art, the only way to have gifts for them while locked up.
The scene ate at Fizz despite being overwhelmed from the volume; at times he wished that he could turn off his hearing implants.
He searched for his sister in the crowded visitor room, and turned a few heads as he was recognized by a few. Most seemed focused on their families, however, so Fizz hoped that his presence wasn’t too much of a distraction.
Despite his worries, he had a mission.
After walking around the visitor area for a few minutes and buying two coffees from a machine, Fizz saw Barbie enter the room, having just gotten past the security checkpoint for inpatients.
She was shuffling awkwardly and carrying what looked like a pie with some sort of brown filling, carefully weaving her way around other visitors and patients.
Barbie’s eyes lit up upon spotting Fizz, and she walked up holding the pie from the bottom and threw one arm around the jester.
“Missed you, stupid,” she said, and Fizzarolli could only squeeze her back.
“Merry Sinsmas,” replied Fizz, stretching to wrap his arms around Barbie multiple times and spinning her around playfully.
“Careful with the pie! I made it special and cooking is impossible in here,” she said, carefully guarding the side of the pan with her free hand.
Fizz gestured to a suddenly free table and he set one of the coffees down for her, and Barbie grabbed it and raised the cup in a toast before she set the pie in between them and then sat down herself.
Fizz took the seat opposite her, the other chairs being snatched up by other visitors before he had even settled himself.
“Ah, just the way I like it,” said Barbie Wire, taking a big sip from the coffee and blanching. “sh*tty.”
“So how did you make a pie if you don’t have a kitchen?” Fizz asked, and Barbie smiled devilishly.
“We have a snack pantry. Someone bought a bunch of graham cracker pie crusts for some reason, and I filled it with chocolate pudding cups and chopped bananas in layers. Made it special for your visit,” she said, looking proud of herself and pulling out a couple of plastic forks from a pocket for them to use.
They dug into the pie, each starting from opposite ends.
“Not bad,” said Fizz, touched that Barbie was still trying to do things for him despite his forcing her into rehab.
“I just wanted to give you something, and I’m not allowed in the art room because I’m apparently ‘territorial’ over the paints and markers,” said Barbie, causing Fizz to raise a brow.
“You did always guard your crayons like a dragon hoarding gold,” he said, laughing at the thought.
“Hey, I had the box with the sharpener,” said Barbie, making Fizz laugh. It wasn’t even that funny, but he was so happy that she seemed okay.
Her skin was clearer and her eyes brighter than they’d been while using. It was a true relief to see Barbie Wire seemed to be getting better.
“But seriously, how are things?” he asked, settling back down.
“Good, actually. They finally got some cute security demons in here, so at least strip search is more fun now,” said Barbie, making Fizz cover his eyes at the mental image.
“f*ck, I don’t need to think about that, Barbie,” he said, mock horrified.
“Oh come on, with that little show you put on with Ozzie? Surprised you can still be embarrassed,” she said, causing Fizz to blush even harder.
“Anything else happening?” he asked, hoping to change the topic.
“Let’s see? My caseworker is an idiot. My roommate is fine, but sometimes talks too much about her stupid nephew… Oh, You Know Who keeps sending me letters and I keep throwing them away,” she said, hoping to avoid actually talking about herself.
It worked, Fizz’s eyes going wide in horror that Blitzo knew where she was.
“f*ck, maybe I will ask Ozzie to kill Verosika,” he said, annoyed that the succubus would give his former best friend Barbie’s info. “It was her, wasn’t it?"
“Yeah, she told him where I am, but there’s no need to kill her. It’s more cruel to make her realize what kind of a demon Blitzo really is on her own,” she said, her face looking dark. Then hoping to continue avoiding the topic of her recovery, she deflected again. “So what’s in the bag.
“Oh, just some stuff for you,” said Fizz, handing over the bag and grinning as Barbie went through it.
There was horn polish, a small manicure set, skin cleanser and moisturizer, a sleep mask, some of her favorite soaps, and a bunch of other small toiletries. The rehab provided the essentials, but these items would make her stay there more bearable.
“Thank you, Fizz,” she said, and the jester smiled.
“Merry Sinsmas,” he said, and she leaned in and gave Fizz a hug in thanks.
However, Fizz couldn’t help himself and tried to dunk her face in the remaining pie, but she resisted.
“Nope, not happening,” she said, dodging his attack.
“Okay, no pie to the face. But what I want to know is how”-
“Oh hey,” she cut him off, gesturing toward another female imp with her tail. “Get over here, Lilla.”
The other female imp approached, and Barbie threw an arm around her. It was good luck that Lilla’s family was visiting, another little distraction from her talking about her recovery.
That, and Lilla and Barbie had business together.
“This is Lilla, my rehab bestie,” she said, surreptitiously taking a tiny packet from Lilla’s pocket. It was small enough to swallow and she did just that after sitting down, hiding this action with the use of sleight-of-hand and another forkful of pie.
“Pleasure, Fizz. Barbie’s told us all about you in group therapy,” said the other imp, shaking Fizz’s outstretched hand.
“How’s all that going, by the way?” asked Fizz, really wanting to know. It was worrying him that Barbie seemed to be dodging the question.
“Oh, she’s doing great. Star of the group,” said Lilla, shooting finger guns at Barbie and starting to walk away. “I’d hang around, but my fam came all the way down from Wrath so I gotta go worship the grandmother.”
“See you,” said Barbie, settling back and taking another sip of coffee. Swallowing the baggie had made her throat itch.
“So is rehab actually going good, though?” asked Fizz, hoping that this friend of Barbie’s was telling the truth.
“Yeah, it’s been great to just focus on cleaning house in my head and figure out where it all came from,” said Barbie, and she wasn’t lying about that part. She was pleased to be getting therapy and working on stuff she had been through.
Still, she felt it was unfair of these sloth demons, who made so many wonderful drugs, to tell her how to use them. Or not use them, as it were. Cutting back was a good idea, but cold turkey wasn’t realistic.
They were in hell and life was short, after all.
Fizz feeling reassured, they continued nibbling on the pie together. Occasionally, another demon would approach him and he’d sign an autograph or stand and take a selfie with the fan, often kids visiting a parent in rehab. He couldn’t say no to those.
He told Barbie about the fan outside who had grabbed him, and she frowned as he described the incident.
“So tired of folks out here thinking that because I entertain them, it means I’m up for grabs,” he said in exasperation, and Barbie listened sympathetically.
“You need to hire some security,” she said, crossing her arms. “Only circus sisters and Kings of the Lust Ring get grab privileges.”
She made grabby gestures with her hands, and Fizz laughed as she dived in to tickle him. However, in doing this, she leaned in too far over what remained of the pie, and Fizz managed to dunk her face in.
Barbie Wire spluttered and scraped some of it off, and then dove in for a hug, covering Fizz in chocolate pudding and soggy banana and bits crust.
“Hey, this was a gift from Ozzie,” Fizz complained, looking down at the blue and yellow spotted shirt that matched his hat.
“Ah, your sugar daddy has good taste,” she said, flicking a bit more of the pudding from her face onto Fizz’s.
After a sloppy attempt at cleaning themselves using a roll of paper towels from the rest rooms, it was time to go.
“You’ll be here for family therapy in a few months, right? It’s the last step to getting me out of here,” said Barbie, and Fizz nodded.
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything, Barbs. Happy Sinsmas,” he said, and Barbie gave him one last hug.
He watched her go, happy that things seemed to be going in the right direction.
Barbie waved goodbye and then headed back for the checkpoint, loudly declaring, “okay ladies. It’s time for me to squat and cough.”
“So you haven’t heard from my sister once?” asked Blitzo, annoyed and not quite believing that Verosika hadn’t gotten a response to any of her letters.
He narrowed his eyes at her distrustfully, unsure of whether to believe her or not. On the one hand, Blitzo wouldn’t want to hear from himself after what he did. On the other hand, maybe Verosika was keeping something from him?
The succubus was sipping a glass of hell-cider, a sweet and fizzy alcoholic beverage common around Sinsmas. They were enjoying the after party of one of her shows, and had found themselves sitting on the couch, surrounded by hanger-oners and demons who had gotten backstage passes.
This party was vaguely Sinsmas themed, a few decorations hung around the lounge area and a bunch of drugs and drinks layed out in a buffet of intoxicants next to the food buffet
Blitzo was acting as her head of security, sitting with her and checking the credentials of anyone who came into the room.
It was a bit overprotective, but Verosika found it hot.
“I already told you, she answered my letter but told me not to mention you anymore,” said Verosika, annoyed by this topic. Blitzo had given up on Barbie answering him, but he hoped that he could send a message through the succubus.
“Right, okay,” he said, looking away.
Verosika felt bad for him, knowing that Blitzo was genuinely sad that his sister wouldn’t speak to him.
“Hey, I got you something, Blitzo,” she said, and the imp looked up at her, curious.
Verosika held up a large red envelope, and she opened it for him and handed Blitzo the papers inside.
“Paperwork?” he asked, confused as to what this was, but Verosika shook her head.
“This is an application for a name change. You wanted to change your name, so I thought it would be fun to work on together,” she said, hoping that this would cheer him up. “You know, new year, new you and all that.”
It was a sweet gift, but also her dropping a hint that he needed to move on with his life.
Blitzo had been down about Barbie Wire not answering his letters, and Verosika felt truly bad for him.
Sure, when the imp was sad, she found it cute, but it was starting to get downright depressing.
This gesture seemed to be cheering him up, though, and she smiled as she watched Blitzo with his gift.
Her imp was excitedly reading the application and trying to understand the legal jargon, and he was exuding that energy she liked from him. Cheering up was a success.
“We can relax and work on this tomorrow after Sinsmas dinner with my folks,” she said, and Blitzo was taken aback by this, shaking his head in surprise.
“What now?” he said, worried as he looked her up and down. “I’m meeting your parents? Oh sh*t, did I get you pregnant? I’m sorry, I can’t be a father right now. I can’t even maintain a good relationship with my sister. I’d be an absolute disaster of a dad. f*ck.”
“No, silly. We agreed last month to do Sinsmas dinner at my parents,” she said, laughing at Blitzo’s sense of humor. He was so funny, she thought. It was a shame he wasn’t a comedian or clown anymore. “Plus, if you’re worried I’m on Anti-Conception for Succubabes: extra strength. No chance I’m pregnant.”
“Oh, okay. Yeah, I remember now. Sinsmas Dinner and then working on the name change sounds good,” he said, calming down.
Sure, his mind seemed to wander off again, but he was just aloof, which was something Verosika liked about him.
Still, she wanted some attention, and knew just how to get it.
“Hey, want to blow this party and then I’ll blow you?” she asked, walking her fingers up Blitzo’s arm.
It took him a moment to register that she was flirting with him, his mind back on Barbie Wire, but then he gave a shrug.
“Sure, sounds good,” he said, taking her hand in his. “Popstar on the move. Bring the limo around the back.”
He spoke into a microphone and gripped a gun that he hid in his jacket. If one thing could be said about Blitzo, he was good at his job, at least.
Twas the night before Sinsmas, finally and properly
And All through Bee’s Palace
There were no Goetia present
Not even Prince Stolas
Because his wife was a bummer
Abusive and crass
And no one wanted
That pain in the ass
Belphagor slumbered
Snug in her bed
Dreaming of herself sleeping
On loop in her head
And Asmodeus sweaty
And Fizz sans his cap
Were cuddling in the afterglow
Breaking for a nap
Then outside a loud KaChing!
And then a loud smash
The door flew wide open
Hitting the wall with a crash
Everyone jumped
And everyone jolted
Ozzie threw on his robe
And to the front door he bolted
He turned on the lights
And to his horror and surprise
Mammon was standing
Right before his six eyes
The Christmas tree spider
The Great Prince of Greed
Had come to family Sinsmas
To celebrate, indeed.
Then from behind Mammon
Came Lucifer too!
With a smile on his face
And a cane that was new
Running through hallways
In their pajamas or less
Came the stressed out sins
Bel in her night dress!
“Oh Ozzie, Oh Fizzie,
Oh Belphi, Oh Bee.
Oh strange hellhound guests
Oh Levi, it’s me!
For the year we all missed
The party we skipped
We’ll go twice as hard
Since we’re so well equipped.”
With a wave of his hand
A pallet did appear
Covered in gifts and decorations
To make up the skipped year
Bee and her lovers
Annoyed but amused
Helped to unload it
Becoming enthused
Then a horse from outside
It came running in
A Wrath horse in sleigh bells
Up to mischief and sin!
The horse ran amok
Prancing about
And no one could catch it
To make it get out
The horse ran in circles
And shat on the floor
It kicked over a sofa
And knocked down a door!
When a hero came forth
A cowboy, it seemed
In hat and long coat
And bright spurs that gleamed
He put two fingers to mouth
And whistled quite loud
Then the horse turned and faced him
And practically bowed!
It trotted outside
Behaving and tame
It whinied and pined
So gentle it became.
The stranger took off his hat
Revealing Satan, who bowed
Pleased with himself
Knowing and proud
Asmodeus looked away
Wanting to leave
But Satan wouldn’t stay
This Sinsmas eve
He lowered his hat,
And walked out the door
His tail swishing behind him
Over the floor
Lucifer stopped him
Or at least he tried
But Satan shook his head
And then Lu stepped aside
Fizz felt disgust
Ozzie felt sick
Bee was confused
Over her brother, so slick
Bel was annoyed
And Levi quite jealous
Over Satan’s horse skills
Practiced so zealous
But Satan was outside
Leaving them be
Wanting them to have fun
Of him they’d be free
So he turned one last time
Giving all such a fright
Saying “merry Sinsmas to all
And to all a Goodnight.”
