At what age should a child stop believing in Santa?
It might be older than you think... We talked to over 1,000 parents and discovered that the average age at which children grow out of the Santa story is 8.5 years.
"It's not an overnight shift in thinking," says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., a pediatric psychologist at Children's Health℠, "and there's no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus." Dr. Lamminen says each family and each child within that family will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.
There's no magical age for this. But the age range of when kids start to ask questions is around 7 to 10 – the average age of when kids figure out Santa isn't real is 8 years old.
"There is no such thing as being too old to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy," Kelman tells Yahoo Life. "Letting kids figure it out on their own is preferable to parents breaking the news to them.
Santa is an idea
The truth is, he's not a person at all – he's an idea. Get them to think of all those presents Santa gave them over the years. Explain that you actually bought those yourself and that Santa Claus is the idea of giving for the sake of giving, without thanks or acknowledgement.
While there is no perfect age to have this conversation, parents often start noticing their children becoming skeptical around eight, but this can vary. However, it may be beneficial to initiate the conversation before middle school. At this point, most of their peers will know the truth about Santa.
Explain that Santa is a symbol
Say something like this, “The Santa that you see in books, movies, and in stores is a person in a costume. People dress up in Santa costumes to remind us… …of someone who lived a long, long time ago called St. Nicholas who secretly gave money to people who needed it.”
The Age Most Kids Figure It Out
In most cases, eight or nine is the age that children stop believing in Santa, but not for the reasons you'd think. While most parents would probably blame their child's peers for blowing the whistle, it actually has more to do with the normal development of a child's brain.
- “Do you think Santa is real?” Answer the question with another question. ...
- “Christmas Magic is really about this.” Explain to your child what Christmas magic really is. ...
- “Let's read a book about it.” ...
- “Here's how I discovered that Santa was not real.” ...
- “Christmastime will still be special.”
The sooner you start (age five isn't too young) the better, because they'll come to expect these conversations and learn you are their go-to birds and bees source. Another important fact is that kids who have open communication with their parents about sexuality are offered some protection from sexual abuse.
What age did your child stop believing in Tooth Fairy?
While the last baby teeth generally aren't lost until age ten or 11, most children stop believing in the tooth fairy by the time they're seven or eight. Of course, children are more than happy to play along with the game when there's money at stake!
Most Americans (67%) stopped expecting Santa to shimmy down their chimney by the time they entered seventh grade. Half (49%) of Americans say they stopped believing in Santa before the age of 10 – with a quarter (23%) reporting that they lost sight of him between the ages of seven (10%) and eight (13%).
It's around three years old that kids start to believe in these characters. One study found the average kid stops believing Santa Claus between six and a half and seven years old.
8- to 9-Year-Olds
Some kids are ready for the truth at this age; others are not. If needed, ask a few probing questions like, "Why do you ask?" before deciding how to answer. Keep in mind that research shows that even when children discover that Santa is not real, they still like the idea of Santa.
Krampus is a mythical creature who is often depicted with horns and a demon-like face. According to myth, which likely originated in what is now Germany and Austria, the creature punished children who behaved badly.
But is Santa real? Kids would say he is—and they'd be right. Well, not Santa himself. But his namesake, Saint Nicholas, certainly existed.
He represents generosity, wonder, the magic of Christmas and the spirit of giving. They might also say something about how he encourages good behaviour at a time of year when parents and kids are both at their wits' end.
If little ones find their Scout Elf sitting on something they need to use, like relaxing in their sink, lying on their bookbag or hanging on their clothes, then it is okay for parents to move the elf, so kids can complete their morning routine and elves can get back to their important job!
“Children's belief in Santa starts when they're between 3 and 4 years old. It's very strong when they're between about 4 and 8,” she said. “Then, at 8 years old is when we start to see the drop-off in belief, when children start to understand the reality of Santa Claus.”
Believing in Santa — or fairy tales and invisible friends — is normal for kids, but most naturally grow out of these beliefs around 8, 9 or 10, Siegel told me.
How do you tell your parents you don't believe in Santa?
- Tell them in a casual way that you don't believe in Santa any more, and you appreciate all the trouble they went to, to make it fun for you. ...
- Make kind little jokes about it.
- Make them Christmas stockings next year with thoughtful little gifts in them.
- Give them presents obviously from you, but marked from Santa.
Telling kids lies–about Santa or anything else–doesn't help build a trusting relationship with them. Kids trust us fully and need us to help them make sense of the world. They rely on us to be truthful. They rely on us for security and safety.
Parents should aim to discuss some of the “normal” changes that happen during puberty, including physical body changes, hormone changes, and thoughts about sexuality. They should also remind their teens that even through all of these changes, they will love and support them no matter what.
Ages 7 to 9
If you haven't talked with them about sex yet, you may have to undo all of the stuff they've learned from Google. While our experts say that discussions should start far earlier than age 7, if you haven't started talking about sex with your children, now is the time to remove the taboo.
In most birds, parents invest profoundly in their offspring as a mutual effort, making a majority of them socially monogamous for the duration of the breeding season. This happens regardless of whether there is a paternal uncertainty. An American robin (Turdus migratorius) feeding its chick a worm.
